Fourth Of July Fail

Fourth Of July Fail

In the past 50 years I've learned some things about myself. 

#1  I really love crafts

#2  I'm really bad at crafts

#3  I love buying supplies for craft projects

#4  I'm really bad at following through on craft projects. 

So you will understand that when I saw the lovely Jennifer Allwood with her mane of blond hair and her adorable accent doing a super-easy, super-inexpensive craft for Fourth Of July I had to bite. 

Here are her super adorable balls:

Photo Via The Magic Brush-Jennifer Allwood

Please see her fantastic live FB feed on how to do these darling stars and stripes balls here!

Now that you've seen her project and how easy she makes it look you can agree that this seems like something that I, as a homo-sapien that manages to walk upright and form complete sentences should be able to accomplish. Right? Are you with me?

So of course I took myself immediately to the craft store to buy me up some supplies (because I've never met a supply I didn't like). I had these cute little metal buckets that I thought would be adorable with the napkins decoupaged on them. I'd use as a flower container or to hold silverware etc. Sounds reasonable right? Anyone want to take bets on how much I bought while I was there? Here was my list. 

1) Mod Podge (I already had a supply at home)

2) Sponge brush (I already had a supply at home)

3) Festive napkins

ONE ITEM! I only had to buy ONE ITEM!!!

Does this look like one item to you?

No...No...this does not look like one item. This looks like someone with a shopping/hoarding problem. Is there a meeting for that? But I digress....so I brought my haul home and set out a space on the dining room table (because isn't that where everyone does their crafting?) and got started. 

On this day I had my lovely assistant with me. She is 16 and very willing to try whatever task I set before her. We discovered however that mod podge and Maia don't mix. 

Here is Maia...isn't she cute? 

Maia

We've got this!

Easy, right?

Just apply mod podge then napkin

 Now you can see from this photo that Maia has clearly confused our Fourth of July project for a candy cane. Her first attempt was to apply the napkins in a more organized fashion than the haphazard fashion in the video. Haphazard is the way to go here. 

So because I am the adult (clearly) and I have a fabulous grasp on crafting do's and don'ts (that's a damned lie) I picked up the stars portion of the napkin and another metal vessel and started to show her how's it's done (too ridiculous to mention). 

No words

Here is what I learned:


1) Mod podge sticks to everything including fingers and fingernails. 
2) Brushes are borderline pointless
3) I'm not good at crafts
4) Tearing the napkins is way better than cutting. They lay down easier and blend together effortlessly
5) Take the white layer off the back of the napkin leaving the thinner overlay.
6) Smaller pieces = Better
7) Be ok with lumpy and bumpy
8) Don't plan a blog post about a craft before you've done it

Here is the final project as I set our Fourth Of July Table:

The finished project

Stars and Stripes and Watermelons

How could I not buy piggy salt and pepper shakers?

Extra napkins did NOT go to waste!!

Fourth of July!

Be Safe everyone!!

First of July Baby

First of July Baby

Oh for heavens sake.....it hardly seems possible but today is the First of July. Now for most people that means that BBQ's are coming soon and visions of fireworks are dancing in their heads. Not for me....or my family. First of July is the day my little redhead firecracker was born and life has never been the same. 

What Fireworks SHOULD look like

When my little firecracker exploded very very slowly (33 1/2 hours of labor, but who's counting) into my life I thought "GOOD"! A little bundle of red hair, blue eyes and blinking lashes will bring us all joy and excitement. And I was right! But rather than a beautiful synchronized display of fireworks, my little fireball was more like this:

Erica Nicole Gilgenbach was born in Moanalua, Hawaii and came 4 weeks early. She was a tiny little quiet thing and that's probably the last time anyone could call her that. She's been anything but quiet since and she definitely always has an opinion. 

Look at that tiny little bundle!

Erica with her Uncle Nate at the San Diego Zoo

Look at that face! How could you tell that face no?

So that little spitfire grew up to be a beautiful young lady. I won't say those teenage years were easy....I won't even say they were hard. They were darned near inhumane. But I kept reminding myself that I didn't want shrinking violets for daughters, I wanted strong, independent, free-thinkers. And boy did I get them! This one was obstinate, defiant, self-centered and not particularly lovable at times. But thank goodness she eventually grew out of it. 

Well....most of it. 

And then she met her soul-mate. 

And this happened. 

Since then Erica continues to be a little firecracker in my life. Now she doesn't really explode all over the place...she just lights little fires here and there. She is talented and loving and cared deeply about her causes and concerns. She's just a beautiful young lady and I'm proud to call her my daughter. 

Happy Birthday Dear One!

There is no e-space between us!!

Wanna Be A Mermaid?

Wanna Be A Mermaid?

Phoenix in June....yup...not a surprise to anyone but it's hot here. Yeah it's a dry heat...but so is my oven. I kid you not, this past Sunday it was 120 degrees at my house. For real. I'm not exaggerating for dramatic effect (although I've been known to do that). 

Day 30 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge-My Hopes For My Blog

My Hopes For My Blog

Photo Via suburbanoutlaw.com/

What are my hopes for this blog? Pretty much what they've always been...but you know I never met a list I didn't like so here goes...

1) To give me an outlet to express my feelings
2) To hopefully have someone read that and relate to the crazy
3) To inspire
4) To support my business by showing my painting and my diy projects
5) I'd love to support my words by video blogging as well. I have no problem with appearing on video but I'm not terrific at the technology
6) To grow
7) To keep in touch with people I love and respect through this medium

I'll stick with lucky 7. If I can do any, most, or all of those things than I can count this as a raving success. Today...I'll start with where it all begins...#1

Day 29 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge-A Confession

A Confession

Gosh I have such a boring life...I'm not sure I have anything juicy to confess. Pretty much anything that would come out as a confession to me, you would probably already know....

Example: I confess that I may have some control issues and you would reply "Duh". 

Example: I confess that I may be a hoarder to some degree and you would reply "Have you looked in your garage"?

Example: I confess that I can't stay out of the ice cream and that a 1200 calorie smoothie seems like a healthy snack and you would reply "Have you looked in a mirror"?

Get the idea? 

I'm not very good at hiding anything. Secrets included by the way. I'm just an open book. I wear my emotions on my face, my heart on my sleeve, and my caloric intake on my a$$!

But here is what I'll give you...access to the crazy...and the inside...of my office. And I realize it's a little scary, but there it is. They say that a messy office is the sign of a creative mind, right? 

Photo via weeks and weeks of not organizing my office or painting enough furniture

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. 

I, Jenifer Robb, confess that I am a furniture hoarder and a train wreck when it comes to organizational skills in my office. The fact that I have roughly 10 pieces of furniture to be painted and an entire closet full of glass stock to be sold is only a justification and I need to get off my aforementioned big a$$ and clean this place up!

Photo via denial

Maybe someday I'll post a photo of my office all cute and functional like the other blog girls....dang it....hold your breath....Don't judge...this could be you.

Day 28 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge-My Most Embarrassing Moment

My Most Embarrassing Moment

How do I even pick? I'm so good at embarrassing myself on a regular basis! But none of mine are particularly wonderful....probably one of my best was when I was at the ripe old age of 10 years old. This may fall into the category of PG-13 but I can't imagine I have anyone reading about DIY and old lady stuff that is underage anyways. 

I was always a very advanced reader. I read at a college level by the time I was out of 3rd grade. My parents were always quite good at keeping me interested with appropriate literature that would challenge me, but sometimes I would get a hold of something that's content was a bit over my head. My father is an English professor and always liked to push me a bit but I think he learned his lesson in my most embarrassing moment. 

Photo Via lushome.com

One time when I was 10 we were sitting around the breakfast table in Fallbrook, CA eating blueberry pancakes (why can we remember the most minute details of some things but not where we put our car keys?) on a beautiful spring morning. I remember talking about our upcoming visit to a farmers market/festival that we were going to when I loudly and proudly announced that I was a nymphomaniac. 

Crickets......

Nothing....for a full minute. 

Then my dad said in his most professor-ly voice. "Perhaps, dear Jenifer, you have not chosen the correct word" To which (because I'm also a Taurus) I replied "Yes I have! I'm a nymphomaniac" Luckily my dear dad simply suggested that I look the word up in the dictionary to be certain and changed the subject, but even now my face gets hot thinking about the sideways glances and barely contained giggles between my step-mother and my dad. Hilarious!

Of course I had read the word in something they had given me and made my own assessment of what the word actually meant. I decided it meant boy-crazy. And it does...sort of. And I was....sort of. But not in the same way of course....at 10 years old.

So the moment wasn't really embarrassing in the moment...but when I learned what the word actually meant in later years....I think back on that moment and blush. Thank heavens dear old dad didn't decide in that moment to teach me a lesson. I may have been scarred for life!!

Day 27 of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge-What's In My Closet?

What's In My Closet?

The better questions would be "What's NOT in my closet"? The answer to that would be doors....my closet lacks doors. Not just ONE door...but any doors...anywhere..in the whole dang house! Aghast?!? Shocked? Filled with self-righteous indignation? ME TOO!!! Imagine the horror! 

Now that I've used my weeks allotment of exclamation points, I will explain WHY I have no closet doors. It's simple really, the house didn't come with them. 3 years ago. Yes for 3 years I've lived without closet doors. But first we must examine what kind of hippie pinko freak takes ALL the closet doors and tracks out of an entire house!?!? Sorry....was that rude? But seriously, who does that? Were they trying to gain square footage? Did they like flaunting their wardrobe? Was she a Chanel collector? Did she have 3548 pairs of shoes and fully 1/4 of them had red soles? Did she foster 12 orphan children and they used them as bedrooms? Those are pretty much the only excuses one could offer that I would deem reasonable. 

Why have I lived here for 3 years and STILL have no closets? Shut your mouth! Casting aspersions!! It's clearly because I cannot settle for just ANY closet door that you can pick up at Home Depot. Ohhhh nooooo sister I have to have SPECIAL closet doors.....and they are all $1000+ per door...and I have how many closets in this dang house? I have 7 closets...that's right....7 naked closets! 

Now here is my dilemma. 

Photo Via Pinterest

I can't help but love the clean lines of a shoji screen look. I like the way they operate and I can have them on small and large closets alike. I like that you can't really see through them...but you feel like you might be able to. All the way around I do love these. 

Photo via Etsy

Barn doors...need I say more? Don't we all want one? Or seven? Now although it may not be practical for all my closet doors it would definitely work for 3 of them, but of course then I would need to decide what to do with the others? Stalemate! Impass!! Do not pass Go...do not collect $200! 

And that explains perfectly reasonable why I have no closet doors. End of story.